Robin Lythgoe

The cover of this story first caught my attention. It is unfortunately the best part of the tale, which is "explained" with an awkward, lengthy (and unnecessary) prologue. The idea for the story itself is intriguing, but I find the execution continues the awkwardness of the prologue. Grammar and punctuation need some serious attention, tense fluctuates, and the combination of period and modern phrases clearly reveal the presence of the author. The queen doesn't seem to be able to find her own voice, and repetition interrupts the flow. More like a first draft than a finished piece, polishing the prose would go a long way toward carrying the promise of a clever tale.