I enjoyed the premise, but I think the story would have been better served by beginning in the second scene where the action actually begins and then letting the back story be revealed later. From the second scene, the tension builds up nicely - and then all the trouble literally melts away without any effort on the part of the characters. An otherwise enjoyable writing style is unfortunately marred by punctuation errors and dialectal use of the word 'anyways.' I think this story has a lot of potential and I would really like to see it get that polish.